Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Behind the Silver Screen - The Surviving Evil

The Death's Head emblem similar to Skull and crossbones, often used as the insignia of the Gestapo Here's something we all know and love - fiction.

Formed in 1933, The Gestapo (acronymn of Geheime Staatspolizei [pronounced Gay-haa-i'm-sh-ta-bing-bling-wadda-wadda-bling-who-gives-a-flying-fuck].)

For simplicity sake, let's just call them the "Secret State Police".

Hell, let's call them The Gestapo!

Anyway, from the skull and crossbones logo (personally designed and illustrated by A.H. himself) will tell you that these buggers are not to be messed with. A trip with them could easily land you in the slammer, concentration camp, or the A.H. toilet cubicle as a seat warmer (some say this was the worse of all treatments given to only the most vile infidel, the bastard!)

Back in the ol' days of 1942, The Gestapo were given examption to a lot of bullcrap, leaving them outside the law and oh-so-fun to be in. The daily duties of the State Police included gathering and massacring Jews and opposition members, holding meetings to strengthen the power of their leader A.H., checking out the town for hiding spots for rebels, appearing on tv in Allo Allo to fight the French Resistance, hunting for bargains on grey coats and black leather boots. Nazi Poker Night at Cafe Rene

Their hobbies include reading, writing, running after rebels and cross-dressing to look like French Resistance pussies so they can infiltrate and gather evidence of their rebellion.

After nine seasons of bumbling, Cafe Rene still remains a hotspot for resistance efforts, and The Gestapo continues to be ridiculed and laughed at by audiences world-wide, their resume of exploits gathering a significant fanbase.

Screen stars or not, their fame was short-lived. During the great culling of 1992, where television shows were axed like skin cells off of Michael Jackson, Allo Allo saw its last, bidding fans and enemies so-long-goodbye-and-thanks-for-all-the-fish.
Some say trenches on Mars were Nazi-related.
Following the years of drug abuse and jobless beer-drinking, The Gestapo tried to revive their fame by cutting albums, their most famous numbers being Stop, Rock and Roll With Gestapo, Smells Like The Gestapo, My Shot Will Go On, and You Can't Touch This (Gestapo), where they had successful collaborations with Celine Dion, M.C. Hammer, Gary Glitter and Nirvana.

But like all German Rock Bands, their music took a nose-dive when people tuned into MTV and forgot all about foreign music. Their skint with Gary Glitter also got them on the FBI's most wanted list for abusing and sexually molesting children before shooting them in the head with their Red 9's.

They were forced to flee the universe.

Although all historic evidence has led to the disbanding of the Geheime Staatspolizei, I know better.

Lurking amoung the shadows is an individual, her passion for the cause
still strong, waiting for the signal to strike. She is ruthless, well-trained and capable of inflicting critical damage.

Society as we know it will soon come to an end.

Last seen jumping out of the German Dictator's windows.
She awaits, Le Gestapo.

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